Makoto, Kouhei [Zoroark]
Nov 13, 2013 22:32:49 GMT
Post by Kouhei Makoto on Nov 13, 2013 22:32:49 GMT
KOUHEI MAKOTO
BASIC INFO & PERSONALITY
Kou, FOX Bisexual TWENTY STAGE ONE Fennekin AMNESIA, SHIN | POSITIVE
NEGATIVE
Quirks
Likes
Dislikes
|
Template by Kuroya for FtS, do not steal! |
HISTORY & POKEMORPH
My story? It's no fairy tale, it's not even close. There's no happy ending, there never was. If you’re easily offended or your heart is too kind, I advise you to set this down and walk away, don’t even spare glance back as you go, nobody else does anyway. But I suppose… I never really gave people that option. I was never big into letting people close, when I got older… I pushed people away. I guess, over disliking it… I feared it. Feared what they’d think of me when they found out who I was… what I was… the things that were wrong with me. But… that’s no place to start. But neither is the beginning… that’s too cliché… and rather, too uninteresting. Babbling babies, toddlers... nobody cares about them. Let’s start when things really started having an impact on my life… shaping me into who I am today, which, mind you… most likely isn’t someone you’d want to hang around. That’s your only warning, I don't like repeating myself. I grew up in Lumios City, Kalos region – which, admittedly, is a pretty good place to grow up. There’s a lot of things to keep a kid busy, and the people, for the most part, are rather kind. Of course, it’s easy to get lost if you’re new or don’t know what you’re doing, but what large city isn’t? But me… by the age of 12, knew the city, inside and out, by heart. I had this bad habit of sneaking out of the house, you see… something that my parents didn’t know about for quite some time. I was never one to follow the rules, nor what my parents told me to do, and that quickly found me in a rather tight spot with them and where my life was going. They wanted one thing... I wanted something else entirely. You see, my parents have a company – they research, create and refine tech for sciences and pokemon gadgets… I guess, that’s what I pulled from it, at least… I never cared much. The company is family run… and you can guess what they wanted from me – I was next in line for it. But that was the last thing I wanted, even when they first told me. From a young age, I had people telling me what to do, who to be and standards I had to meet – it was hash… certainly not a way any child should have to grow up. Least to say… I rebelled. And you can’t blame me. Making the grade, being proper in everything… I didn’t have much of a childhood. Being forbidden to play outside in the manner a growing boy should was the first straw… not that I had friends anyway, but I had a pokemon – a young Fennekin that my father had given me on my fifth birthday to act as a guardian and friend in lieu of a playmate. They thought it was a suitable choice and would keep me out of trouble. They couldn’t have been more wrong. Perhaps an older, more evolved pokemon would have abided to their wishes, but one so young, so close to me, only wanted the same as myself. Freedom, adventure… fun. I was always adventurous, and when my parents weren’t looking… I snuck away (Mind you, my first adventure on my own was when I was about six… I didn’t wander far, but it shaped my tastes for what I was about to do). Early before school, late at night when they were asleep and during the day when they were away at the company, I ran away. The maids always hated when I did so, as I left without a word, leaving them searching for me in a hustle, worried about their jobs more than my safety. Not that I cared, they didn’t really care about me… so why should I have cared? I escaped away to the streets with my pokemon, the two of us exploring to our hearts content, not giving a second thought about time or weather. Admittedly, I skipped school to explore and have fun… and even made myself sick when I stayed out too long in the rain or snow. I couldn’t have cared less. Not about being sick or about the punishments my parents placed for my disobedience. In fact… those punishments only pushed me further and further into my deviant behavior… and I began to see that I enjoyed being a troublemaker. Why? Because then… then I was finally different from my family. I was finally someone I wanted to be. I was me. My family began to pick up on what I was doing, and their punishments and efforts to shape me into someone acceptable to run the company became harsher. They were blind, wanting only what they wanted, seeing what they wanted to see… and didn’t see that their efforts only pushed me further and further away and deepened my hatred for them. At one point, I loved my parents… yes, but by the time I turned twelve, that love was gone. How can you love a family who doesn’t care what you want, think or are… who only cares about what you do when it’s not what they want you to do. This only led to me becoming even more disobedient… and to me sneaking out more frequently and spending more time away from home. Away from where my mother and father were… away from it. My family was very proud of their lineage and wanted that pride to continue on… but it skipped a generation. Hanging in the halls of my house are pictures and paintings of family come and gone… and family present. But there’s a few… with a figure I was never told of. I asked questions, but was always told not to speak of such nonsense or told that they were busy and to go away. Being the stubborn child I was… I kept asking, over and over… until my mother relented and told me not to tell my father, under penalty, if she had to. The boy in the pictures was my brother, older by 8 years. She told me that he had done some things against the family that had gotten the family to, more or less, give up on him. In turn, when he became old enough, he had run off, claiming to be apart from the family to start his own life… or, as he also claimed, his pokemon journey. Instead of trying to scare me off from my deviant ways, it only served to inspire me. I began to think harder, coming up with ways to try and escape my family, to become my own person, not what they wanted. Hell… I even thought about joining a gang to further anger them, though, at the time, I knew I was too young to do such a thing… the thought entertained me, and I entertained it to the point where I was certain that’s what I wanted. And I was going to do it. … Until he showed up. When I first met him… I didn’t even think of the possibility of how close we’d become. Honestly, I just wanted him to leave me alone. My parents were at work on a spring day, and it had reached that time of year where it’s nice enough outside for you to want to start straying from the dusty halls to get some fresh air. I had spring fever… and needed to get out. So I left, Fennekin in tow, idea strong in my head to find a gang and join… or get my ass handed to me trying, and I knew where one resided. I knew I was young, and the likely hood that they’d accept me was pretty slim… but I had prepared myself to fight my way in. I’d wandered far from home, deep into the heart of Lumios – not much different from what I had been doing a good portion of my life… except this time, I took a turn I usually had avoided. Things, where I was headed, seemed darker – walls and walkways were tagged with graffiti of all sorts, and the closer I came to my destination, the more there was and the stronger their message. Fennekin, by my side as always, stopped, ears twitching before calling me in a way I had found familiar. Someone was following us. Where I would normally take precaution and lose whoever it was, this time, I chose otherwise… thinking maybe it had been what I was looking for. Recalling my pokemon, I turned and prepared myself for the worst… only to find something completely unexpected. Where I was expecting to find a group of ragtag people… I found the exact opposite – there stood a boy, blond hair… about my age… and clearly the exact opposite of what I was looking for. The boy looked like he wouldn’t hurt a fly, in fact, I had recognized him from the days I had showed up for school… and my suspicious were only confirmed when he admitted to being lost when I told him to go away. He continued with words that he thought I might lead him back to familiar ground if he followed me… part of which I didn’t believe… but had a feeling he wouldn’t have left me regardless of what I may say or do. Relenting my plans, I told the boy I’d take him home if he told me where he lived… and kept my word, only to find out he didn’t live too far away from myself. With a short goodbye from the blond… and less from myself, I left him there and returned home, much to my dismay. The following day, upon arrival to school… the boy found me once more, greeting me as I sat to eat some breakfast I nabbed from the kitchen on the way out, not wanting to have dealt with my parents morning drawl. I didn’t speak a word to him… yet he continued to talk, and eventually introduced himself to me as Cecil… to which I offered my name in return, if only to be polite before returning to my food, falling quiet once more. Day after day continued like this, with Cecil hanging around me, talking to me and insisting on trying to socialize… which did nothing but serve to confuse me. I’d been rather rude and standoffish to him. It had kept everyone else away… except for him. I had to admit… there was a part of me that admired his persistence. And maybe that’s why I eventually relented and let the boy get closer. … And maybe another part of me hoped that finally… finally there would be someone who’d care. Perhaps I’d gone soft, but I’d never lose the edge that had kept others away from me, even as I allowed myself to open up slowly over the years to the other. Even then, there were still things that I had kept secret… even from myself. Things I refused to acknowledge… things that would never go away. But spending time with Cecil seemed to help, and instead of running off to explore and find myself getting into trouble… I found myself spending time at his place, where his mother allowed me the things I wanted… to have fun… to be me. … Even though she seemed surprised to see me at first. There was a certain charm about her that made me admire her… her kindness, to which I found myself returning with a respect not even my own parents received. She felt more like a mother to me than my own… and I found myself wanting to be there more and more, a haven… a home away from home. However… the more time I spent there, the more aware I felt her grow. You see… she was a teacher at the school I attended… and no doubt did she pick up on my absences, especially when I showed up at their place the same night. Eventually, as I feared, she pulled me aside and asked. Though she was kind about it, and patient… I couldn’t answer. Instead, I found myself staring at the floor, biting my lip – mind you, it’s not easy to tell someone about the problems you’re having at home when they go as deep as mine. She finally excused me, and with a small apology, I left. After that, for a while, she didn’t mention anything and things returned to normal… for the most part. Though, despite my respect for her, I will admit, there were a few times where I lied to her, telling her my parents told me I could be there when they didn’t know where I was… but by then, they’d gotten use to my frequent disappearances… I doubt they’d bother looking for me. But how could you blame me... I’d finally found a little bit of happiness in my life… finally had something I’d never allowed and never realized that I had wanted so much. I had a friend. Actually… I had much more than that. After a couple years, I had started to realize that my feelings were shifting. My heart beat oddly when I looked at the blond, my face heating with a blush when he caught me staring. I felt compelled to spoil him every chance I got and felt the need to protect him even more than before. But what really tipped me off… was the jealousy I felt when another looked at him a certain way, handed him a gift on valentine's day or giggled with a blush as he walked by. I had fallen in love with the very boy that I had once wished would leave me alone. But I found myself afraid… I didn’t want Cecil to find out how my feelings toward him had shifted. I didn’t know how he’d react... and feared that he would push me away and I’d lose the very thing I cherished most, the thing that had become most important in my life… the thing I actually found my life revolving around. So, I did the only thing I could think of – I hid my feelings away and bit my tongue when jealousy struck. But that didn’t stop my love for him from growing as we did, watching him with a careful eye, despite that sometimes it hurt to watch. It wasn’t too long after that when his mother started to reach out to me once more, sending letters with Cecil for me with kind words of encouragement, welcoming me back whenever I needed it… and the offer of an ear to listen if I ever needed to talk. Talking was one of the hardest things for me to do… and even though I felt she deserved to know, I couldn’t bring myself to share. At least, not for a while. After months of spending more and more time at their place, hiding my feelings from her son and receiving these letters, I swallowed my pride, and my fears, and decided that I would speak with her. Though, I admit, I chose perhaps one of the most idiotic times to do so. Skipping a class to speak with her on her lunch break… but she was happy to listen. Slowly, timidly, I shared my past – my family, my secrets (except for my little crush) and the reason why I skipped school so often and spent so much time at their place. And at the end of it all, it felt as if this giant weight had been lifted from my chest, but my heart felt heavy, my eyes stung, my throat dry and scratchy… I felt like I was about to break. But there was a very specific reason why I had decided to do all of this, and it was perhaps, my smartest and worst decision I had ever made. I had decided to run away from home. And I wanted someone to know why, even if I didn’t tell what I had planned on doing. But there was something I felt I had to do first. … But it didn’t quite happen as I had expected, nor when I expected. It was around Valentine’s day, which some may find a bit cliché… but it couldn’t have been more perfect, I think… well, for at least the timing. School had ended for the day, and as usual, I found myself walking to Cecil’s house with him, having no plans to return to my own home. Seeing as Valentine’s day was coming closer and closer, we had this habit of sitting down and making valentines for each other… and this year, I wanted something special for him. Generally, I made him something to eat, spent a lot of time working on it too, making sure it was perfect, and attached a small note to it before presenting it to him on the holiday. But this year had to be different… especially with what I was planning on doing later. Little did Cecil know… he gave me the perfect opportunity with a simple question. “Hey Kou… Is there someone special you’ve been thinking about…? You know… Someone you like?” The question seemed so innocent… and actually, now that I think about it, a little cautious. It was enough to fly right over my head. But I took it and ran with it. “There is someone… actually…” I returned, watching him carefully to gauge his reaction. Though… I think I failed to pick up on the fear that ran through him at my answer, either that… or I was seeing things I wanted to see and I thought it wasn’t really there. Either way… I disregarded it. “O-oh, so have you thought about asking them out or anything?” I have to admit, I did see that sort of question coming… but not with how it was stated… and it did get my hopes up. I just hoped I wasn’t gearing up to have my heart broken. “Yes… actually… but I’ve no idea how to actually… you know… do it. I don’t want to lose them… So… I haven’t done it…” I looked down, staring at the floor before biting my lip – a rather nasty habit of mine. “How… How would you do it?” “S-show them... how do you do that without scaring them off...” He began, a deep blush coloring his cheeks as he too looked away. It was adorable, I had to admit… the sheer image of him in that moment causing my heart to skip a beat, my heart swelling with the feeling I’ve come to know all too well. As he continued to speak, his tone was higher, voice coming out with nervous squeaks… honestly, I wanted nothing more than to pull him into my arms and hug him, “Y-you could…give them a kiss… o-or something small like that… e-even a hug, if the kiss seemed too much…” But at his suggestion, a deep, rosy color crept over my own cheeks as I continued to chew my lip out of nervousness. “A kiss… Like this…?” I began, stepping closer as he sputtered a question which I didn’t quite register, reaching a hand out to cup his chin and lift it, having him look at me, taking a deep, shaky breath, “Forgive me… I’m not good at this… or anything really…” It was a small plea to where, if I was making a mistake, hopefully he would forgive me for what I was about to do. Leaning forward, my heart speeding in my chest, threatening to beat right out… I inched a little closer, and well… I kissed him. As cliché as it sounds… time really did feel like it had stopped, my heart beating in my ears, the sound consuming me as the short few seconds felt like hours... until I swear I felt a small push back.. a possible return of the kiss? No… I had to be imagining things, my hopes were too high, that had to be it. And that’s when I felt it – his hand gripping my jacket – he was going to push me away. … But then my heart skipped another beat as, instead, he pulled me closer, and I swore my legs almost gave way under me. Which… was actually, a smart move. As we parted from the kiss, all I wanted to do was bolt, get out of there for fear of what he might say or do – but he held me tight with his grip on my jacket. And spoke, his own blush deepening… if that were even possible. "N-not at all, you did it perfectly...s-so I hope I can m-measure up." I felt my own eyes widen at this, staring at Cecil with disbelief. Did he… really like me as I liked him… did he… really want me? Before I could question him, I felt his lips against mine once more, a small whimper escaping me despite my efforts to hold it back. I was trembling, that was quite obvious, and I’m not even sure if I wrapped my arms around him to steady myself or hug him… maybe an attempt at both, but I didn’t want to let go. And as we parted for the second time, I rested my forehead against his, panting to gather my breath and slow my heart… and I finally said the words I had longed to say. “I love you… Cecil…” Honestly… that was the best thing that’s happened to me. But, of course, with my luck, things could never stay good for long. You see… as things became better with Cecil, they also became worse with my parents and my situation at home. And it all began when they discovered that I had been staying with a friend – which is something that they disapproved of, more or less… because I became known as the delinquent child of the family. And hell, even I will admit that I am when it comes to them – how am I supposed to care when they care nothing about what I want. And as they began to place more pressure on me, more restrictions and less time alone, always having a maid or two have their eyes on me… I began to grow restless. There was less time to get away… less time to see Cecil. So… I snapped. And I finally made the move I’d been craving for years. Packing my few belongings, clothes and saved up allowance and money from spare jobs preformed here and there… I ran away. It wasn’t easy, finding that window of opportunity, and I will admit that I cut it close – but the adrenaline rush, that sudden feeling of freedom… it was all so exhilarating! But, as much as I wanted to disappear, I wouldn’t do so completely… especially not from Cecil. So, what did I do? Well… I climbed in through his window, and I told him everything. With each word I spoke, I could see the fear building in him, the emotion displayed almost painfully on his face… before he insisted on coming with me. And I denied him. I told him that he had it good here – a loving family that took care of him, a good home, food, happiness. But he still insisted… and I knew the reason. He was afraid that I would disappear from his life. But I couldn’t do that. Not back then when we first became friends, and certainly not now that we had become a couple. I wasn’t about to risk his heart with a selfish decision. So, I reassured him that he’d still see me… still have contact with me, and that… honestly, if I lost contact with him, if I couldn’t see him, I too might break. Though, I’m not entirely sure of how we woke his mother… but we were discovered in the middle of our conversation, and with her son in such a state of disarray… she asked what happened. And I couldn’t lie. I told her everything. And, being the motherly figure she was to me, whether she asked for the sake of her son, curiosity, or what… she asked why I had done what I did. My answer was simple. It was better than the other option I had come up with. I knew she understood… not only what the other option was, but why I ran… after all, she was the only one who I had shared my history at home with those years ago. Accepting this, Cecil insisted I stay with him until morning… and despite my fears of what may happen if I was discovered there… I stayed, leaving the next morning to find a place to reside until something better came along. Two years were spent in hiding from my parents – risks were taken to see Cecil and occasionally stay at his home, as he stayed in the small apartment I had managed to find. Two years of happiness, despite the risks I took with my actions. Two years of waiting for a window of opportunity. And I found it not much later – an island, a paradise… as some called it. There, I knew I could live in peace from my parents… as I doubt they’d think I’d leave the region. But… I didn’t want to go alone. Taking my news, I headed to Cecil’s, only to find myself confronting his mother first… and rather awkwardly. I asked her if she’d give me permission to ask her son to move to the island with me… and she granted this, provided that Cecil wanted to go with me. Of course… upon asking if he’d go with me, there was no hesitation in his answer. But what he had here was great… I didn’t want to rip him away from that… and asked his parents if they’d want to leave with us. After contemplation, they too thought it’d be a good idea. Whether it would be a change of scenery, looking for new opportunity or what, it didn’t matter to me – I was able to get away from my family, take my lover and have his family come with him. It wasn’t hard to pack my things up, seeing as my belongings were few, so I waited and helped Cecil’s family pack. Within a month, we found ourselves on the island, searching for a place to stay – a nice home for his parents, not too big, not too small…. Though, his mother insisted on at least a two room home, offering for us to stay with them until we found our own place… and the promise of a warm bed, food and a shower sounded wonderful… as did finding a place to stay that Cecil and I could call our own. I guess… that’s the fun of moving to a new place And really… I was more than ready for it. | ZOROARK DARK ILLUSION RYUUJIN TWENTY-TWO |
Template by Kuroya for FtS, do not steal! |